**Use the dropdown menu above to find links to spreadsheets**

Well boys, I don’t know at which point you stop considering this a blog and start considering it a suicide note. It goes without saying but these first three weeks have been incredibly shitty. But that’s not why I write this. It’s not to make everyone feel bad for me, it’s to get you content you subscribed for. And goddamnit, I’m going to keep typing through the waterfall of tears streaming down my face.

Game of the Week

JB (Ben likes fire escapes) vs Griffin (Saquon my nuts) — Picked this as game of the week because of the absurd amount of points JB had. It might not look like much just by score, but when you see that JB did this without a tight end, it makes it even more impressive. Great job JB, very proud of you buddy. I’m so happy you are doing well!

Game of the Weak

Jacob (Chicken Gordon Bleu) |111.90| vs Jace (Looks Good in Shorts) |133.62| — Honestly, there weren’t any really terrible games scoring wise. This was just a shitty game because there were two 0-2 teams playing each other. That’s all I’m willing to say on the subject.

Top Players

Okay, I know I said I wasn’t going to make this about me, but unfortunately two of the best performers this week affected me negatively. Keenan Allen and Mike Evans (fuck you Tanner) put up 44 and 45 respectively. Just ridiculous.

Don’t think I will do this part every week, but just wanted to point some stuff out and try to make it look like I’m not as bad as I really am.

Trades

• KRAMER RECIEVES: B. Cooks , D. Freeman | JACOB RECIEVES: J. Smith-Schuster

Notable

• Jace changed his name
• Saquon got hurt
• I hate Tanner

And that’s it. Short and sweet. I do wish it could have been a bit longer or could have had more witty puns, but I’ve got a lot of tests this week. Look for longer ones in the near future.

Alright, off to cry myself to sleep.

**Use the dropdown menu above to find links to spreadsheets**

This site has laid dormant for too long. NFL Football has laid dormant for too long. Ever since drafting a month ago, I have been salivating over the thought of a Sunday afternoon with the charming voice of Andrew Siciliano abruptly being dwarfed in the shouts of “THROW IT TO SANU” or “FOR FUCKS SAKE (insert first round draft pick here).” No longer. Tomorrow is the night we get just a brief taste of magic. Just enough to tide us over to Sunday, where dreams come true. I’ve never been to Disneyland, but I would assume that it’s pretty damn close to a couch in Manhattan, Kansas on a Sunday afternoon- grunts, sweaty hands, and all.

I’ve been debating on what I should be posting on this site. I want to still do a recap of some sort, but that does take a lot of time and I run out of good jokes and puns quickly. Do not be worried, I will be posting weekly recaps, albeit less frequently. I think I will start doing more stat based post in order to give my brain a rest once in a while. One of which is the……..

GAMES OF THE WEEK – Week One

Prime Time: Trey (Kupp My Balls) (0-0) VS Kevin (Tucker Right in the Pussy) (0-0) – The defending league champ takes on a middle of the pack finisher last year. Both teams need to start the year out on the right foot, though it looks like Kevin might to dust off his walking boot from a few months ago as NFL is projecting Trey to score about 25 more points than him. We will see if Trey will be able to live up to the hype however. We all know how bad he is at getting people out of his house, let’s see how good he is at getting people to the house and scoring some touchdowns.

Don’t Even Bother: Ben (YeahIAm) (0-0) VS JB (Ben likes fire escapes) (0-0) – I am honestly astonished that these two are paired up together in the first week. What an atrocious year for the two of them last year. Downright embarrassing. I’m just glad that one of them will be getting at least one win this year. We will see if Samway still comes up short this week as usual. Might be a tall task for him. Maybe just a bit out of his reach. Having some growing pains last season. Got the short end of the stick. You guys know what I’m getting at.

Hon. Mention: Ned (Jace Nedbalek) (0-0) VS Kramer (Jew Jew and Friends) (0-0) – This game really isn’t very special at all, especially not at the beginning of the season. I just thought it was really funny that Jace’s team name is literally his full name. Surprised the guy didn’t leave his social security number in there as well.

Well boys, that wraps it up. Don’t expect this much effort into these post throughout the season- at least not every week. Best of luck to each and every one of you this season. Thanks for letting me nerd out and letting me poke fun at you as well. ❤️

**Use the dropdown menu above to find links to spreadsheets**

Gentlemen-

It is that time of the year. It is the best time of the year. I can’t believe that I made it this long without some goddamn football in my life.

As you all can see, I’ve made this website for our league. It’s got a ton of spreadsheets that I slaved away at while pretending to do work, so I’d appreciate some “thank you’s” every now and again.

I’m hoping this will replace the painstakingly long texts I would send in the group chat, as I don’t think my thumbs would make it through all this. Right now, I’m planning on doing at least a “Game of the Week” post, and then possibly moving into “Week in Reviews” like we had previously.

Check the pages out. Let me know what you think/if you have any feedback. All is appreciated. Just don’t kick me out of the group chat again.